Monday 30 January 2012

Wanted dead or alive: any Facebook user, $ 125 reward

With the upcoming IPO of Facebook this week, I got a little worried. I told a few people "Mark my words, this IPO is going to blow the Social Media bubble once and for all" and even "Wouldn't be surprised if FB's IPO is going to start the final leg of this crisis and finish everything off".
A bit gloomy, I admit. But I really need to get something off my chest here: you could put a value on people, but not in this context, and certainly not at a price like this

Amounts have been predicted as low (yes, "low") as $ 10 billion, and as high as $ 100 billion for Facebook's IPO. At their claimed amount of 800 million users, who miraculously seem to be logging on every second day at the least, that would mean at least $ 12.5 per user, at maximum $ 125.
A maximum amount of one hundred and twenty five dollars per Facebook user, dead or alive - would you offer such a ridiculous amount of money if it were your own? Of course not

The thing is, I'm afraid this IPO just has to succeed. We've been fooling and fudging around in social media for so long, suggestimating and guesstimating profits and ROI (look up 'evangalyst' on my blog) and now the time has finally come: monetisation is here!
If you aren't going to monetise on Facebook's IPO, hell, when and on what are you going to monetise? Never, on nothing, if you don't do it here. This is the biggest and baddest thing that has happened to Scoial Media, and it's here and now: this simply has got to be the most humongeous success in the last few years. Golden parachuting our way out of this crisis - who doesn't want to do so?

So, you see, if you're not in on this, you're a sucker and a failure. VC's will finally have a way to blow their funds again, millionaires who forgot to buy gold and oil can now make a decent wager, in short: this IPO is going to open high and reach beyond the skies, beyond the heavens, and maybe even tickle Gawd's balls - that's how high it's going to get

Did you see Trading Places, with Eddie Murphy? Somewhat like the final scenes is what I imagine when I think of FB's IPO. People will buy, buy, and buy, and somewhere along that buying frenzy, people will start to sell, and make a huge profit, conjuring that out of thin air. Instantly making fortunes. They eyes of the world will be directed at FB's IPO, and this economy isn't luxurious and laid-back enough to deserve or undertake an IPO like that. Hundreds of millions of people will be watching it, and as soon as something seems to be very wrong, people will go mad, panic, and dump FB like crazy

IPO a Social Network? What were you thinking?

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