Sunday 9 January 2011

Forgiveness - damned if you don't

A tweet by Patrick Brinksma just chased me into my blogging curtains again:
Forgiving is letting go of victimhood and judgments.
It's actually a ReTweet of Jim Kitzmiller but hey - it's a great one

Maybe this title would have better served the general spirit 2 weeks ago, but just as I tweeted then:
Remember to wish yourself a Happy New Day every day in 2011 - after all it's easier to #grow than #change
every moment to stop, stand still and contemplate is a good one - and waiting for those moments to fit your agenda equal futile denial

For those of you who don't know, I have a few pages out here that describe my findings and feelings towards spirituality, life, whatchamacallit, the epitome of which being my lessons learned #LengthAlarm

In short, what is forgiveness? People all around the world have an exaggerated definition of that, I think. Forgiving doesn't mean that you reverse the current situation, forgiving means that you bring back the balance in your life.
Every one knows that you can't change the past: you can only change the future, if it weren't for the fact that the future doesn't exist. The past doesn't exist either, all that remains of it are memories and images of it in your heart and mind: copies at best, dragged through your entire perception system and coloured and tainted with your emotions. Try exchanging thoughts with someone else on a past event, and you're likely to agree even less than on an event that's taking place right now

So, forgiveness is something not directed towards persons or personifications, forgiveness is something directly aimed at the images in your head: it is these that you carry along 24/7, every day of your life. Shame, guilt, anger, rage; you're the source for that now, not others. Maybe they helped to achieve them, but as said, that's the past, and can't be changed - so no use hanging in there

If you forgive, that means you'll alleviate the burden you're currently taking from those images. Whatever image you formed in your heart and mind ages ago, does it ROI having it there? Does the time and energy you put into it, help you feel better? Is it a wise investment to have that image there? Does it hurt you, obstruct you, turn you into a miserable complainer? If so, why are you doing so?

I am a firm believer of what Epictetus taught: the only things in your control are your thoughts and feelings - and they're in no one else's control either. Yes they can be numbed, suppressed and sometimes also stimulated by drugs, but the only owner of them is YOU

Lawd knows I witnessed plenty of reasons to be ticked off and infuriated in the last weeks and month, and I did become angry at points but also immediately vented that anger at the same time - I don't want to be a storage container for negativity - it's simply a waste of my time and energy

Are you hurt? Stop touching your wounds with memory, thoughts and feelings - they'll heal a lot better if you don't. Feeling angry? Get it out where you got it, maybe even piece by piece

Do you feel a great injustice was done to you at some point? Do you maybe even hate others for that? Then how much of that injustice is undone by your current actions, how much does hating others restore the balance - or is it all just occurring in your heart and mind? Does Hate plus Hate really equal Love?

Forgiveness = piece of heart and mind. Forgiveness = stop taking things personally
You have, to a great extent, the power to turn your own personal life on this earth into Heaven or Hell - that is one thing that is for sure

Forgive yourself, forgive the characters in your play and rewrite the script. Leave the wounds of your past alone, so they can heal, and the hatred-filled images in your mind will disappear: they need your energy and attention to thrive

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